“Dear Jan,
How do we handle the news of Queen Elizabeth’s death and the screening of her funeral? Many of the residents in our care home are great fans of the royal family. They are devastated by the sad news.”
Chanita, Activity Coordinator
Hi Chanita,
Well, this is one we haven’t had to handle before. I agree, many people in care homes will have strong links to the royal family and will need help and support as they will be grieving. Many may not remember what they have been told, and it will be hard for them to accept the news. I think the key here is to offer gentle support and a friendly face.
Generally speaking, I feel that PAT (pets as therapy) dogs are wonderful to incorporate into your care provision, especially during difficult or emotional times. Animals offer great comfort to those who are grieving, as they don’t need a conversation. Reach out to your local PAT organisation to request a visit this week.
In the lead-up to Monday’s funeral service, you could do the activities listed below as a group. Doing these activities will help to prepare your residents for the event, yet offer a welcome distraction from any feelings of sadness and mourning.
- Make a display in your hallway using Union Jack flags and photos of Her Majesty The Queen.
- Create your own book of condolences. Have a chat with your residents and help each of them to word their own entry. Some may have memories of meeting or seeing the Queen. Try to include as many personal memories as possible to make the book feel really poignant to your residents. You could add photos from the colour supplements – there are plenty in the newspapers at the moment.
- Make a prayer tree. Use a branch of a real tree or a fake wooden display tree from a craft store. Cut out cardboard shapes such as crowns and corgis. Assist residents in writing their name and a short prayer or message on the back of each shape, before decorating and hanging them up.
Advice for the day of the funeral
There will be lots of television coverage of the funeral on Monday. Be careful not to leave the TV on all day long, as it is very important that your residents get a break from screen time. Find out when the main events and services are on.
Some residents may not want to watch any of the televised coverage, so you will need to arrange alternative, appropriate activities for them. They may want to do something completely separate from the funeral, or they may simply prefer to watch coverage of happier occasions, such as the royal weddings or the coronation.
- Involve your residents in planning and preparing a special cream tea to serve on the day of the funeral. They could make finger sandwiches or ice small cupcakes.
- The Queen was very fond of jam pennies (small circles cut out of bread) – perhaps you could pop these on the menu!
- Ask residents to help by folding paper napkins or polishing the cutlery with a clean cloth.
- Offer your residents the opportunity to ‘spruce up’ for the funeral service on Monday. Set up a shoe-polishing station, and offer mini manicures and hairstyling to residents who wish to feel well groomed.
Suggestions for after the funeral service
Bear in mind that your residents may continue to feel sad after the funeral. Keep the atmosphere in your home calm and respectful for the rest of the week.
Ask your manager if there is sufficient budget to purchase a rose bush to plant in memory of Her Majesty The Queen. You could purchase a small plaque, or create one with the help of your residents. Make sure it is varnished so it is weatherproof. Invite relatives, volunteers and members of your wider community to witness the planting. Try to choose a spot that is visible from your communal area, so residents can admire it regularly.
- As a group, you could paint pebbles with colourful flowers and display these around the rose bush to create an area of remembrance in your garden or outside space.
- Write a letter of condolence to post to the palace, commenting on details that your residents admired from the funeral service. Help your residents to write their own message or simply sign their name.
- Flower arranging is a lovely, calming activity to offer. It can also incorporate discussion – What do your residents recall as the Queen’s favourite flowers? What are your residents’ favourite flowers? What sorts of flowers are in bloom at this time of year?
Activity suggestions for those living with late-stage dementia
You may have residents who are unable to partake actively in any of the suggestions mentioned above. If appropriate to the resident, you could provide a sensory activity in a one-to-one session.
- Source a vintage-style handbag. Fill it with old money, stamps, costume jewellery, photographs of the Queen and any other royal memorabilia you can obtain. Use this as a ‘rummage bag’ to enjoy with your resident. Describe the objects to your resident, and use the hand-over-hand technique to enable them to explore the items.
Best wishes,
Jan
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